Have you heard of the term “BPD favorite person”? It refers to an individual who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) and selects one person to be their favorite above all else. Having BPD limits a person’s ability to have healthy, consistent, and long-term relationships with family members, romantic partners, and friends.
Montare Tucson created our residential program to help people who have severe and unmanageable symptoms of mental health disorders. We provide 24/7 care in our comfortable facility for people with borderline personality disorder. This includes attending multiple therapy sessions throughout the week. These sessions are designed to help individuals reframe how they view themselves and others. With our help, people with BPD can learn healthier ways to interact with others and see each person in their lives for who they truly are.
What is a BPD Favorite Person?
Someone with borderline personality disorder often has people they adore and those with whom they become quite dissatisfied or angry. It’s quite common for the individual to dub someone their BPD favorite person. The person is usually a romantic partner, a family member, a friend, or someone else who they feel understands and supports them.
They come to believe this person can do no wrong. They rely on them for emotional support and to offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. In addition, the person with BPD often talks about their favorite person and puts them on a pedestal.
How Does a “Favorite Person” Relationship Work?
A BPD favorite person may be someone the individual with BPD didn’t have excessive fondness for at first. They then become infatuated with them and elevate them to BPD favorite person status. From the outside, the relationship may look healthy or even unremarkable, but when viewed up close, it becomes clear the person with BPD has developed an unhealthy obsession with them.
The BPD Relationship Cycle and How It Works
One of the key symptoms of BPD is cycling through feelings, going from highs to lows and back. This also happens when someone has a BPD favorite person. The cycle goes as follows:
Stage 1: At first, A new relationship that appears fine at first, but the person with BPD quickly begins to idolize the other person.
Stage 2: The person with BPD becomes sensitive to every thought and deed of the other person and fears they will abandon them.
Stage 3: Consequently, the individual with BPD begins to make demands of the other one to “prove” their feelings of mutual admiration.
Stage 4: Cracks appear in the framework of the relationship because the person with BPD becomes insecure and acts in irrational ways. The other
person recognizes a change has taken place.
Stage 5: The person without BPD often becomes tired of the other’s irrational behaviors and expectations. They often put an end to the relationship.
Stage 6: The person with BPD becomes outraged and depressed, feeling they have been betrayed by the other person. At this point, the previously favored person can feel like their enemy.
What are the Risks of a Favorite Person Relationship?
Having a BPD favorite person can emotionally exhaust someone. They devote an unhealthy amount of time to thinking about them, communicating with them, and singing their praises to others. The individual feels extreme jealousy if their favorite person spends time with others and isn’t available at their beck and call.
However, once they switch their feelings and no longer like the person, they continue the pattern of thinking about them and trying to convince others that the person lacks value. Moreover, individuals who experience the loss of their favorite person are at risk of self-harming behaviors and suicidal feelings.
Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Favorite Person Relationship
If someone realizes they are the favorite person of an individual with BPD, there are steps to take to keep from being sucked into an unhealthy exchange. First and foremost, they need to realize that they cannot control the other person’s actions or reactions. The person without BPD should set boundaries and stick to them. For example, withholding contact if the person with BPD tries to monopolize their time or expresses jealousy over their spending time with others.
How to Stop Having Favorite Person BPD
Seeking treatment for BPD can help manage the symptoms associated with having a favorite person. For instance, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a highly recommended approach. It teaches individuals mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and distress tolerance.
In addition, Mentalization-based treatment (MBT) helps people improve their relationship skills and minimize their tendencies to engage in a self-destructive manner. .
Furthermore, prescription medications help people balance out their emotions and minimize extreme highs and lows. In many cases, they can be particularly effective for people with BPD.
Contact Us for Personality Disorder Treatment at Montare Tucson
Montare Tucson opened our doors to give people access to elevated care for their mental illnesses. More importantly, our licensed therapy center provides a safe and clean place for people to feel at home while they work on improving their mental health disorders. Additionally, if you know someone with a BPD favorite person or have one yourself, we can help. Change the way you view them and others healthily.
Contact us today to find out more about our borderline personality disorder treatment program. Let us help you take the first step toward healing.
Published: 3/18/2025
